How Oysters Farms Supposedly Work, According To Kelly

Hi Idiots.

I, much like you, can't believe I'm writing another article about oysters in 2024. Before I started here, if I'd been told I would write one article about oysters I would have been surprised. But TWO? Yeah, here we are. But bear with me (please).

Someone on the show had another oyster encounter, but this time instead of trying to eat the oysters for the first time, our resident Oyster appreciater had her mind blown over the weekend after a trip out West where she encountered something many people apparently don't think about; where the oysters come from. Much like there are fish farms, there is such a thing as an oyster farm.

Kelly, in her own words, is going to attempt to explain how she thinks these farms worked before she learned how they really worked (which she explained in Segment 17).

"I thought you just caught them out of the ocean, and so when she [the waitress] said they raised them I thought they just raised them in a pond, like a saltwater pond. When she told me they throw those empty oyster shells back in the water, I thought they just...regenerated or the other oysters started spawning I don't know. I still don't know, I still don't know if they can even swim!"

Honestly, when you hear the words "oyster farm" that isn't a super far-off guess considering the information she was given. I don't know. Maybe this story was funnier to me than all of you will find it. Either way, there will be no more oyster-related content going forward (I hope).