An Open Letter To The Biggest Hater of the Free Beer and Hot Wings Show

Dear Free Beer and Hot Wing Show Hater,

Hi. Thank you for writing in. Like, all the time. We love hearing from you. However, we are not quite sure the messages we get from you are what anyone would consider "productive".

What makes us say that? Maybe it's the 7 times since November you have texted simply telling us to "Retire." Perhaps it was the 10 times you've told us to "Beat it" in the last month. Or, maybe it was the 4 times you've told us to "Go home." It's very considerate of you to care about our well-being like that. We get up very early every day and sometimes we do want to go home! But if we did that, who would you have to talk to all day? We think you'd get lonely.

You claim our show "should have been a 1-year show".  At some point, the thought of how the show has gone on for more than a year has also crossed our minds. Sadly, considering the show has been around since 1997, the one-year window has unfortunately been missed. We hate to disappoint.

There was one thing you texted in that did make us laugh. While we were enjoying our hard-earned, lovely, relaxing vacation, someone was still doing their job. Any guesses? It was you! You sent in a joke of your own, you silly goose you. You asked if our best-of-the-show segments were actually "worst of the show" segments. That one did elicit a chuckle from the gang. Nicely done!

Here's the bottom line. We regret to inform you we are not going anywhere anytime soon. While you don't "love it when we talk over each other", there are at least a couple of people who do enjoy our inability to shut up. We think it is one of our most redeeming qualities! We endearingly call everyone who listens to the show our "Idiots." You are absolutely someone who listens to the show, and you are also definitely an idiot.

It is time to pick up a new hobby. We've heard knitting can be fun. Put the phone down, and go touch some grass.

Sincerely,

The Free Beer and Hot Wings Show