Tommy Wings Hot Take: Pluto Deserved Better, Here’s Why

Hi Idiots.

Today Hot Wings was out and someone had to step up to take his place. While he is taller than me and has bigger feet than me, I was chosen as the heir to fill those shoes. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and this responsibility is one I do not take lightly.

Since few are rarely given the opportunity to step on this soapbox, I will speak on a global (and universal) tragedy that befell all of us 18 years ago:

Pluto, the former ninth planet in our Solar System, being demoted to a "Dwarf Planet"

What Makes A Planet A 'Planet'?

According to the Library of Congress, a planet must meet the following criteria to be considered a planet:

1. It is in orbit around the Sun. ✅
2. It has sufficient mass to assume hydrostatic equilibrium aka the object must be round. ✅
3. it has "cleared the neighborhood" around its orbit. ❓

According to the "professionals", Pluto does not meet the third and final criteria to be deemed a planet due to it not being strong enough to generate a gravitational orbit. Charon, long considered Pluto's moon, was always a conundrum due to being nearly the same size as Pluto itself.

When it was discovered Pluto was being affected by something else with a larger gravitational pull, it was demoted.

Pluto Deserves Planethood

I don't have any scientific mumbo jumbo to back up my claims here other than it is SICKENING to deprive a beloved planet like Pluto of its title due to it having friends around it. "Plutinos", objects in the nearby Kuiper Belt, keep our friend Pluto company while floating in the cold, dark, vastness of space.

It's disturbing to demote a worthy planet on a technicality. That is all I have to say on the matter. Thank you for your time.