Producer Tommy Ruined A Funeral In Massachusetts For Candy

Hi Idiots.

It's always a fun time when I can write "Today, one of us was an idiot". But it's a humbling experience when the idiot show member is me. Yes, based on the title, you already know the tale I will be telling: I may have (accidentally) ruined a funeral over the weekend, and no, I had nothing to do with the funeral which makes it all worse.

Let me give you a little background information. I was in Massachusetts over the weekend (shoutout PIXY 103) for a wedding. The wedding was absolutely lovely and we had a great time. The next day, my friends and I were doing some sightseeing and were making our way to a candy shop in Hull when suddenly we found ourselves in a line of traffic where everyone had their hazard lights on.

We got confused, thinking there was construction up ahead, so we turned our hazards on too until we reached our turn. However, our turn was onto a small random side street, so we got really concerned when suddenly a league of cars began following us. We were like,

Wow, there sure is a lot of people headed this way. Wonder why their hazards are still on...

 

That was when my friend realized what had happened: we had accidentally joined a funeral procession and had managed to divert the whole thing. How did we learn? Well, people started passing us on the highway with yellow FUNERAL tags hanging from their mirrors. We got reeeal worried about the problem we'd created.

Thankfully, we ended up meeting back up with the rest of the procession and we dodged a major bullet, but man oh man did that almost end in a one-way trip to the land down under.

So yeah, if you were part of a funeral procession and got led astray, I am so sorry I got you lost. I'm also sorry for your loss. The bright side: the candy we got was delectable.

Some funny texts you all sent in while I was telling this story on air:

"Did Tommy hatch from an egg?" Hilarious.

"Does the state pay you guys to employ Tommy?" Hurtful but understood.

"How does Tommy survive the day?" Your guess is as good as mine. I rely on chance most of the time.

"This kid is hilarious. He is so dumb and funny." Thank you. I think?

"Can Tommy do trivia?" I see what you're getting at...

If you want to read about another Tommy blunder, check out this story of when I thought I killed Free Beer's dog.